Taboo of death

So if there is one thing about me, everyone knows- I am death positive.
   Whoa! Hold your horses, what do I mean by death positive? To me it means that I accept the fact we all die eventually and that I should not shy away from it. That everything I do in my life, is somehow affected by this, that I will eventually die. It does not mean, I am not terrified of dying- far from it! I am terrified of what comes after death- if there is anything. The fear for death for me is, leaving the ones I love behind.
  But for the purpose of today on this blog, I will be talking about my views on certain things and what i find fascinating.


The taboo 

Death is taboo. Why? Everyone dies. That is very true- everyone dies. But we prolong life. if someone is for example, in a coma and has no chance of waking up- we will put them on life supports for example. (Do not hate me, I am using this as an example, I am not ridiculing anyone for doing this. I myself, would most likely do the same in the situation as I do not want to lose that person).
   Why? Why do we have this sudden fear of death?
   Death is a great source of anxiety. Hell, even i have anxiety over it! Most people are not prepared emotionally, mentally or physically for death. So yes, it can cause a huge amount of anxiety for people! So no one wishes to talk about the subject, for fear of upsetting themselves or others around them.
  Society is also to blame. Why?
Society paints a picture of enteral youth. For example, why are most of the actresses and actors within Hollywood young? Why do we not see a lot of older actors? (this is whole another thing but I am using it to prove my point). We grow old- we do not stay young forever. Society has also taught us to shield children from a very young age about death.
  It was very different in past centuries. Death was a normal way of life. People spoke very  openly about death but in this century, we do not. Now this could be down to numerous reasons from both world wars...etc.
But I do not think death should be taboo.

cannibalism. 

Thats a heavy topic Marie. Cannibalism is very frowned upon in society and rightly so in some contexts. However, did you know there are certain cultures, that when their loved one dies, they use funeral cannibalism? To society this is horrifying and from a scientific stand point- it has many problems within in this practice.

But cannibalism as put by Bill Schutt, is not as uncommon as we think it is. There are animals that cannibalise and it is normal for them. Now do not get me wrong, I am not saying cannibalism should be a thing. I do not think it should be a thing, but I do not think we should look at cultures that have death practices with it as wrong or immoral.

Embalming 

  I do not agree with embalming at all. However, it does not mean I will push these views onto others. In some certain places it is needed. First of, what is embalming?
  Embalming is the act of using formaldehyde and replacing the bodies fluids with this chemical. it is an act of preserving the body after death and keeping the person, looking as if they have not died and simply fallen asleep. It has been practiced in my any forms, for thousands of years.  Embalming does not stop decaying.
   So why is that a bad thing?
Well for one embalming fluid is incredibly poisonous for the environment and the Embalmers. Embalming fluid is a known cancer causing fluid (carcinogen) and can kill. When a person has been embalmed, they have to be placed into a lead lined coffin (which adds expense for the family), then a steel vault (which adds even more expense).
   Funeral directors (some) will not say this. Embalming is a person in the UK costs around £75 to £200 and in the USA $725. You then need to add the cost of makeup on top of that, a coffin and the steel vault. Funeral directions will also tell you it is necessary for a viewing- it is not.
  There are two types of embalming. One is through the arterial veins within the body and the other is cavity embalming. Both use a long needle called a trocar. It is a long needle that is very sharp and has many holes on the sides.
Within embalming fluid the Embalmer will add a dye to match the persons skin, so the person has a life like appearance.
   When should embalming be used?
Embalming should be used if it is needed. (this is my view). For example, if you are transporting a body to another country. That is when embalming is needed.

Do eyes stay closed like in the movies?
No. Simply put.
   I have helped morticians set facial features and close eyes. Morticians have different ways in which they can do this. Eye caps or cotton. I have put eye caps onto peoples eyes and they work fairly well. They are plastic and look a little bigger than eye contacts. Morticians can also use spiky eye contacts.
  But why do eyes stay open after death?
This is because all the muscles within the body relax. Rigor mortis does not last forever!

Do I agree with assisted dying?
What is assisted dying? It is where the person who is terminally ill (no chance of recovery), will be helped to die. As of yet, it is not legal in the UK. It is like euthanasia but, euthanasia is where death is brought about for the sake of the dying person as it is thought to be in their best interest. (also involuntary euthanasia and voluntary euthanasia).
   I agree with this. Why? To me, if I was dying and it was going to get a lot worse towards the end of my life and my family would suffer- I would not want them to go through that pain and have memories of me being critically ill. I would choose to do this. It is also giving the person the right to choose when they die and have a 'good death'. (Good death can be in many forms.). I believe it is a persons right to choose if they are critically and terminally ill.

What about the death penalty?

I do not agree with it at all. I believe a person who may have committed a heinous crime, should be put to death. Having my freedom and everything else taken away from me, is the worse punishment. There has also been cases within the USA that people killed with this, have been innocent. There is also the growing concern of POC being placed on death row, because of their colour and as I have noticed, mental capability. (Intelligence...etc.) and people with bad mental health issues.
  I have never agreed with it.
Thats all i have to say. It makes me quite angry.

What about cultures with different death rituals?
I am all for it! In fact I want to visit a specific death culture that brings out their dead each year and performs rituals. For example, they dress and wash their dead. I think that is wonderful! If I had the choice, i would like all culture to be this death positive and view death as another stage and not shy away from it.

Natural burial?
I am all for natural burial. It means no embalming- nothing! You can have a wicker coffin/casket or a shroud. You are placed four feet in the ground instead of the usual six and flowers grow where you are.
I am all for it and considering as my option for when I pass.

So  thats all I have for this issue on death...stay tuned for whenever I get around to part two!

As to why I have not been posting on social media...

Hello! It has been a very tough week for myself unfortunately and my family.
My grandfather who was very sick, has passed away. So understandably, I am very upset and grieving.  So all my social media posts, have been far and few between. I have no motivation at the moment to carry on with my book (Cursed)- so please understand as to why i have not uploaded anything with that.
  My grandfather, who i called Papa, lived in the USA. He was around 87 I believe, I am not sure. Either way, he passed away last week and of course I am struggling. I feel from my funeral work and all the research I have done, I am better equipped at handling grief now than I ever was before.
   So yes, there will be a quiet front from me, till I can get myself back into cosplay...etc.
Thank you for understanding.

Molly Marie.

The failed aspirations of me

So...I put out on my instagram: what do you want me to write about? And well this was one of the answers.

So what are my aspirations?  Well we know them a little, don't we? I want to be a writer and mortician/forensic anthropologist. But why? No normal person will do a thing like that! Well, if you have not gathered by now- i am far from normal.  But I do not want to keep repeating this, so instead I will talk about my lesser known aspirations and why I will not be ever doing them!

Its about to get really weird.

Acting! 

So I do have an A level in Performing arts. I was actually going to audition for East 15 and other performing arts universities.  I wanted to be able to perform on TV and stage. But I never actually went to do this and changed my course to forensic psychology at Cambridge/Oxfrord. (That is where my uni actually runs from).

But why? Well at the time I was having issues with my mental health and then it collapsed when the me too movement came out. It triggered me quite badly unfortunately. When this hit the news with the guy i won't name, cause quite frankly, I do not want his name on my blog- I decided that acting was not for me. I was terrified of this happening again and I was put off for life. Plus I was having directors lying blatantly to my face about stage productions and throwing my friend under the bus.

A part of me still wishes to become an actor but I can do much better with what I want to do.  Now the death industry- it is very male orientated and can be very sexiest but I am ready to fight that sexism!

Nuclear physicist 

I told you it was going to get weird. Yes, since I have been about thirteen I have dreamed of working in nuclear power plants. And I don't even agree with nuclear energy! I am a walking contradiction. Either way, this was never going to come to the front as I cannot do maths. I failed GCSE maths seven times and still do not have a GCSE in maths. So there is no way I can be a nuclear physicist.

Meteorology 

When i first watched Twister- I was hooked to the movie. I do not like it now. I prefer to watch actual tornado docs and hurricanes. One thing about me: I am very good at telling what the weather will do and where it will go. I have no idea why- I think it is because I have been studying the weather since I was about eight or so.

I have no idea why I want to do this or why i want to be a storm chaser and chase those hurricanes and tornadoes. it is incredibly dangerous and expensive! And plus I dont want to be one of these people in tornado alley who clog the streets up.

Also requires math.

Conservationist 

So this actually came way before acting! I even went to Nottingham on trent uni to see the campus! Needless to say I do not like bugs. or dirt. I agree with conserving the environment and stand all for it. I have done a lot of volunteering work at Minsmere  for this. Even been on TV as part of Springwatch (audience). But when my mental health crashed, I did not want to do this anymore and still do not want to do it. But I can incorporate this into my mortuary work.

Teacher 

Moving on. I will not be a good teacher at all. 

I think thats it? There is a ton more but they are boring. So enjoy this!

-Molly.

Blackfish

Okay- so you lot wanted to see movie/show reviews too! So to start of, why not start with the most horrendous thing? Black fish!

Black Fish synopsis: The story of Tilikum, a captive killer whale that has taken the lives of several people, underscores problems within the sea-park industry, man's relationship to nature, and how little has been learned about these highly intelligent mammals.  (credit: off google)

To start off: I fucking hate Sea World. I have many emotions and thoughts on this subject. For a start, I had to stop and start this documentary because of how brutal it was and how fucking horrible people are in that industry. I am completely disgusted with the human race and hate being apart of it. 

  So Tilikum is still unfortunately, at sea world and performing. He should not be and should be in the ocean with his pod. But of course, now he cannot be released! So how was Tilikum actually put in captivity? Kidnapping. 

Literally no other word for it. He was kidnapped from his mother and put into Sea Land then was transported to Sea World. 

   Killer Whales are some of the most intelligent creatures on the planet and we as a human race are forcing them to do 'dog tricks'. It is fucking disgusting. This documentary which was made in 2013, talks to former Sea World trainers and how they were basically brain washed into thinking what they did, was normal. That is till people started dying. Mainly the trainers. 

  The documentary is raw and emotional. I literally cannot explain how disgusted I am at that the fact Sea World thinks this is okay! They even tried to get the Sea World to answer questions! But no surprise, they declined. 

  it follows mainly the life of Tilikum the killer whale. It is awful. He was literally abused by Sea World and quite frankly, it no wonder he started to hurt and kill trainers of his. He was kept in a watery cage basically, that was smaller than him. Even to this day he is kept in one now for the most of time, as trainers cannot go near him. Can you imagine being kept in a small box for most of your life and day, only to be let out to bow at audiences? 

I just found out he actually died and I am horrified. He was near 36 when killer whales live to be around 100 or more. 

  https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/tilikum-dead-seaworld-orca-blackfish-killer-whale-dies-trainers-animal-rights-breeding-dangerous-a7513446.html this is the article if interested. I was actually searching for petitions to put on the end of this! 

    But back to the documentary, before he died he was kept in a cage basically and would just float because, one it was too small and no one would interact with him. Killer Whales are very social mammals and the fact sea world did this- it is disgusting.  

I really want t ogo on but again- I am getting so angry that fucking humans do this to mammals. 

So...if you want to shut down Sea world, please sign these petitions I found. I will be signing these myself. 

PETITIONS: 

https://www.change.org/p/no-tilikum-s-death-will-not-be-for-nothing-no-we-will-not-tolerate-this-outdated-cruel-and-archaic-industry-any-longer-no-we-will-not-stop-fighting

https://www.change.org/p/seaworld-parks-and-entertainment-help-shut-down-seaworld 

A court of thorn and roses- Sarah J. Maas

Book: A court of thorn and roses

Author: Sarah J Maas

Year: 2015

Synopsis: Feyre is a huntress. She thinks nothing of slaughtering a wolf to capture its prey. But, like all mortals, she fears what lingers mercilessly beyond the forest. And she will learn that taking a life of a magical creature comes at a high price...

Imprisoned in an enchanted court in her enemy's kingdom, Feyre is free to roam but forbidden to escape. Her captor's body bears the scars of fighting and his face is always masked. But his piercing state draws her ever closer. As Feyre's feelings for Tamlin begin to burn through every warning she's been told about his kind, an ancient, wicked shadow grows. 

Okay so- this is a brilliant book. I cannot wait to read the other three in the series! I have been looking at this book for over a year now and decided to give it a go! I was very glad I did.

First of- I am a lover of fairytales but I am fed up of the usual romance and such. This? Well it has elements of Beauty and The Beast but is...well not really like it! Which is great!  I thoroughly enjoyed this.

But lets talk about the characters first!

Nesta- I actually love her character. As it usually the men who are like this. Cold and calculating. I like her character so much because I find in books (mostly fantasy) women are usually softer and 'princess' like. So it was refreshing to see this and the part where she goes to find her sister? That was actually endearing as you think the whole time, she loathes her sister but it is quite clear she doesn't! She just doesn't let others see her emotions as well.

Feyre- I do like her character but I am not someone who usually likes main characters. Don't ask me why- i have no idea! I liked her character in this book as it showed her being completely loyal to her family and willing to risk everything for them. And Sarah also portrayed her as being in a normal 'relationship' with the human boy. (I can;t remember his name alright). Which is great because it is about time we started making female characters having fluid sexuality and not waiting to 'find the right person.'.

Elain- I did love Elain as well i have to admit. It was when she started gardening that i just sort of fell in love with her character. I have to mention the third sister of course. It would be quite wrong to leave her out!

Tamlin- now I don't like him. He annoys me. He is possessive of Feyre and it annoys me to high heaven, as she quite clearly can do without a man and be fine by herself. I don't know- there is something about his character I just do not like and I do not think he is a good fit for Feyre. I will have to read on and see if I like his character anymore but...I highly doubt it.

Lucien is my favourite. Its his sarcastic comments! If you put a female or male who is sarcastic in a book- I am bound to love them. And how he dresses? He is so cool. I feel so bad for him however, about the court he left and the person he fell in love with. I honestly, feel so bad for him and just want to give him a hug.

Now onto the plot- the plot was very good. I was liking the hole mystery around 'the woman' and quite frankly, she has an awesome name as well! I feel in books or series, not enough women are the villain of the books.  So it is really refreshing to see this. it also did not start like the typical Beauty and the beast, which I found was great as well. As I am so fed up of that particular story line. And the fact feyre could barely read? Shows depth of a character and how actual real people struggle with reading. (Me included). I like how Sarah adds struggles to her characters, it just makes them feel so much more real and add to the plot within the series.

I am also loving the different courts. How it is not just seelie court or unseelie. It is how they correspond to the different seasons. I find that really lovely and cannot wait to read more about these different courts!
The writing style as well- is fantastic and it is very well put together. I love her the words flow together and to me there isn't one word out of place.

I highly recommend reading this book!

-Molly 

Mercy by Jodi Picoult

Book: Mercy

Author: Jodi Picoult

Year written: 1996

Synopsis: When Jamie Macdonald killed his wife, he knew he might face a life sentence. But wht was life in a world without Maggie? The case divides the small town of Wheelock. James Macdonald has confessed to premeditated murder= Murder One. For his cousin Police Chief Cameron Macdonald, there’s no question this man should be arrested and tired- family blood ties or not. But for Cameron;s wife Allie, its not so clear-cut. She loves her husband more than life itself. If he were suffering and asked for her hel to die, she knows she would do anything for him. Now, for the first time in their marriage, she finds hersel set against Cam, siding it’s Jamie and wondering if wht he says is right: that in a relationship, there’s always one who loves one more....

   Okay, so I started Mercy on the 19th of April and finished it on the 28th of Apirl. I enjoyed the book at the beginning. But near the end I could not carry on anymore. It was beginning to get repetitive I felt. I love Jodi Picoult books, do not get me wrong but this one....I struggled with.

So for the first part of the review I want to start with Allie. Cam's wife in the book. Allie is a good character and I fell she could have been so much more! Jodi started doing this and then...she redacted Allie back to being under Cam's thumb. I feel that Allie should have divorced Cam when she found out he was having an affair with Mia. Like...that part where she said she was not going to divorce him? That super annoyed me. Like I understand the premise of the book was about how loved each other more and stuff but still...She could still deeply love him (more) but still leave him. It felt like it was redacting the character she had built up so quickly, then put back to what she was at the beginning, where she would not argue with her husband. It has really annoyed me she did that.  Almost like saying that she needs a man to survive, which is not true. I think from what we saw of Allie, she could survive very easily without a man.

Cam. Now lets move onto Cam. I hate him. No simple way around that. He annoyed me from the get go. Then gave me an actual reason to hate him. I really did not like him and don't have much else to say on him...

Mia. She is the one who Cam had affair with! Now I actually liked her as a character because she was different and plus she had a cat. She was not the typical woman and I liked it. But when she betrayed Allie's trust and had an affair with her husband? I did not like that. Or the fact she seemed to be hinting that she had followed Cam. SO there issues with her character. I would have liked it if she had not had the affair with Cam or admitted she loved him and he said no.

Jamie. Now I did like him as a character as he made you think. If you had a wife/husband and they were dying from cancer and had no chance of surviving it. would you kill them? As stated, I do not think there is one way to answer this. Cause as the name of the book suggests, if it a mercy killing or  a murder? We know what the law says but what about euthanasia? I agree with euthanasia as I believe it is the persons right if they are dying to say, I would like to die now- if they know there is no chance of surviving it. So I liked that he got put on trial and everything.

The plot of the story was well thought off and researched, as most of her books are but as stated they are some aspects I just did not like. Like the affair between Cam and Mia. it made it feel redundant and lose the gritty aspect to me.  I felt like it took away from the story. I know it happens in real life but still.

I liked the slight mysticism in this book as well. From the flowers (cannot remember which they were) wilting or shirking back at Mia's fingers as put them in the church for the wedding. Or the mother of Cam using plants to make concoctions and potions. I like the little aspects in the book that also made it very interesting. I wished it had more of a plot the mother to be fair.

As always, her books are very well written. I just did not like the copious amount of sex scenes in it. Which mainly between Allie and Cam or Cam and Mia. Like a few are fine for the story- but stop with the amount I felt was in there. I was not reading this book for the sex scenes!

All in all the book was very good but...there were a few things I would have changed or done differently. Also remember I could not finish this book. That in itself shows you I was beginning to not enjoy the book!

~Molly Marie

The books that made me

Hello, my first bog review will be up shortly! I have nearly finished Mercy by Jodi Picoult. However, today I thought I would start by show casing the books that made me today! Some may be a little surprise!

So if you have not read the about me page, I could not read till I was nine years old or write. I struggled greatly due to dyslexia. So when i was diagnosed and finally taught how to read....well I am still on the rampage of reading everything I can muster!

So with that in mind, lets start!

Guess how much I love you 

 When I think about to my childhood, there is always one book that I remember with great fondness. Guess How Much I Love You. I remember being tucked in bed and my mum bring this book out and reading it to me. It is one of those books I have actually never got rid of and still have. Obviously, I do not read it anymore but  because of the memories attached to it, I will never get rid of it. If I ever have children (Which I probably won't, as I do not want children)- they will be read this book and I would like to think it would be passed down through the ages.

Harry Potter 

 This will probably come as no shock. My mother has been reading this to me since I was a very young age! In fact, I have pretty much grown up with them. I even have a dark mark tattoo now! But when I was younger, i loved them so much i demanded my mother call my Hermione and I would not answer unless she called me this!.... I was a strange child. I remember having the first editions to this books on my bed side table. Hopefully they are still int he loft? I probably will not sell them but keep them out and try to stop them being anymore damaged then they are. I have also only read the Deathly Hallows once. Why? I cannot stand Snape dying. I literally hate it.

But why a dark mark? Well I thought a slytherin logo was a little...normal. SO I went and got a dark mark on my left wrist with the deathly hallows behind it. But I also got it cause I love Snape and...relate.

Darren Shan Saga 

 Anyone who follows me, this will not be that shocking. i have been reading Darren Shan since I was 12 years old. Every Christmas me and my mother have a tradition, where she lets me open one present on Christmas Eve. The other tradition is- I always get a book. So when I was 12 on Christmas Eve, I unwrapped the gift and had the first three books in one. Granted- it was the book form of three in one with the movie on it. Which I may have in the loft still or not. I upgraded to the picture a few years back. But as soon as I started reading it, I had an obsession with it. The  I had a weird period where I did not read it from like 14 to 19? I got back into the books two years ago and started cosplaying from them. Honestly, I think my younger self would faint knowing the author has seen my art and everything.  But i have grown up with this books and they have helped me through some shit, lets just say and continue to help me to this day.  So thank you to the author for that :)

When I was in year seven we had a day in the textiles lab, where we could make book marks! SO I made a book mark of a music note, spider and two other things. I still have it till this day in my memory box, but it was a homage I guess? to Larten and the books.

Another memory i have is when the Larten Crepsley saga came out. I was over the moon and I demanded when the last book came out, that my mum take me into town and get Brothers to the damned. As it turned out, it was last signed book of Brothers of the damned. To say I begged my mum, is probably an understatement. it now sits on my shelf  to this day proud. IN fact, my shelf is so full of up of Darren Shan, books I have run out of room to put more of his. I think I need a second shelf...

Caitlyn Doughty 
 These are actually more recent. You may know her as Ask A Mortician on Youtube. She is US mortician that is very death positive and aims to educate viewers about embalming and different cultures around the world about death practices. If you have read my about me page- you will understand how this fits in with books that made me. Though, granted this is more of a person who made me. Either way- I am still going to talk about this!

I cam across her YouTube channel two years ago when I was going performing arts. Oh the days of when I thought I wanted to be an actress! Makes me laugh now! I was a little lost realising that performing arts was not what i wanted to do. The profession is horrible to women and having been in similar situations, I am not putting myself in a situation where someone tells me I have to sleep with them get what i want. Nope. That can fuck off. SO I went through a list of things. From being a meteorologist (I am actually very good at knowing what sort of weather will happen, 8 out of 10 times it happens), director (again not going to do it), script writer (still on my list), author (still on my list), fashion designer (yeah not gonna happen), nuclear physicist (can't do maths. So that went out the window) and police officer (too ill to do this).

So as you can imagine I was little lost and struggling. Till I came across her. Well six months later and studying classical studies with the Open Uni- I contacted numeral funeral homes and bingo! One said they would let me do a day of working in the business and seeing if I can handle...well dead people. As the best advice I can give anyone, volunteer at a funeral home. You will never know till you do it, if you can handle it.

Well....I could handle it. Maybe I will do a post on this! They gave me permission as long as I do not give their names or details of the families involved. (Which I would not anyhow!). But thanks to these books, I am now on the road to being a forensic anthropologist or mortician!


Sherlock Holmes (Show and books)

 This probably will not shock people close to me. But maybe when I read The case of the speckled band will! So I have all the books but I read one of the books (or cases) when I was in year eight. I was around 13? or 14? Either way I was very young and still I have the leaflet my English teacher at the time gave me and the class! It is currently residing in my memory box, with my very bad hand writing saying Molly Williamson. (Which is my actual surname. Marie is my stage name of sorts!).  but I remember reading it and thinking: Oh this is very interesting. But never...went any further than that.

Till I was about sixteen and had some horrendous shit happen. (I will possibly write a post about this. Depends. Lets just say, I have no problem (kinda) talking of it. (Barely remember). But it was thrown out of court. Thank you so much British government (hint: Sarcasm)). And I started watching Sherlock.  As in the very Molly fashion, I got obsessed with Jim Moriarty. so much I started cosplaying him. Hint: my gavner Purl cosplay with the beads down one side (which i still have not finished), was my old Moriarty suit.

Either way I brought all his books and have read about three? I still have a lot to read six years on. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle has actually inspired me to write my own books, with Darren Shan and R.J Anderson. 

Me and my best friend actually had a conversation on the way back from London, literally a week before Lockdown. And yes I know I want to be a person who works with dead people and my name is Molly.
Holly: You know who you remind me of.
Me: How do I answer that? I never like it when people say this.
Holly: Sherlock.
Me: damn thats new. Usually i get Jim.
Holly: No I can see that. But you like dead things and he has a skull on his fire place.
Me: And...?
Holly: I can see you doing that.
Me: Eh. I would if I could.

Little did she know, when i was younger at a beach in Suffolk, did I do just that. It still had the human teeth as well.
I had a femur bone and jaw bone on my bedside table before Sherlock made it cool. I also have an apple tattooed on my arm with a Moriarty quote.
Cause...ya know. Normal for me!

~Molly Marie